Hot Hash News – La Taverna, Ryton – Late Edition – 20 Feb 2019

Pub: La Taverna, RytonHare:  Mary Poppins and Zoom In

Mysterious ghostly stag appears at the beer stop

A plethora of hashers turned up for a rural hash adventure in Ryton last Wednesday, and only now, after a period of calm, have I felt able to append shaking pen to paper to write down this tale of terror.  Mary Poppins had the dubious honour of being ‘sans flour’ when the rest of the hash turned up, for which she received a down down later in the circle and for which heinous crime she will never hear the end of. Unsettled by the knowledge that latecomers would have little chance of finding us in the dark woods and may even now be lost forever, the hash set off into the gathering gloom.
Within 5 minutes, Rectum had mysteriously vanished, galloping off ahead of the pack to check out what can only be described as a false trail in the wilderness. He was later found gibbering at a mysterious round circle.
A few minutes later, the hare disappeared, muttering something about ‘secret shortcuts’ and was only discovered at the next checkpoint, fortunately still coherent and breathing. BabeMagnet became short of breath and his ankle mysteriously swelled up. Chafing B was doused in a mysterious liquid and a huge yellow moon rose in the east.
Winding ways continued to lead the unwary astray, and it was many minutes before the hash arrived at the railway  crossing point and were invited to ‘cross to the other side’.
Thoroughly unnerved by these supernatural experiences, a splinter group broke away from the main body as a disembodied voice instructed us that they would meet the ‘others’ towards the ‘end’.
Mysterious lights bobbed in the distance, on the Tyne,coxless racing boats were spotted heading north and voices howled in the dark. Terror seized us and in a blind panic we ran along the towpath towards the safety of Mary Poppin’s beer stop.
Much spirit was consumed to sooth our nerves, but it appears that even here the spirit world was still at large ( see photo), and here we discovered 2 more  hashers, Counterfeit and Inncons had been spirited away.
And so hashers let this be a lesson to us all
“When the hare runs out of flourBeware, beware the witching hour

Thanks to the hare/s for a particulary spooky run,

On On
GH

Hot Hash House News – Platform 2 Tynemouth – 13 Feb 2019

Pub: Platform 2 – TyneMouth Micro pubHares: Woofers and Counterfeit – Short trail hare Lubri

Circling in Platform 2
A huge crowd of hashers descended on Tynemouth’s newest mirco pub, lured by the promise of delicous beer close to public transport. A beguiling combination I’m sure you’ll agree.
Intriguing instructions issued by the hare included a metro ticket for zone C, and the promise of a timed beer stop enroute.Indeed our very own Pop had half a pint before setting off ( although it didn’t entirely agree with him during the 4 mile run)
Leaving  the pub, hashers made their way through some back routes to Northumberland Park, and along the seafront, pausing to take in a few hash histories to add a cultural dimension to the evening. Reaching Tynemouth Park, rumours of a naked man circulated before the pack turned inland and back towards the Left Luggage Room for a brief (time checked) beer stop.
The group then tested the premise of  how many hashers does it take to get on an empty metro when they all try and get in the same door after having a drink ?
The answer is far too long for the metro  train driver who  reminded us on the loudspeaker that there were alternative doors on each carriage for us to use.
We then had a warm circle inside the pub, complete with down downs’ for the hares, a welcome to newbies and returners and a shout out for the embarrased naked man spotted by Trees Are in his seafront apartment. 
Stats and Special Notices
Returners – 2Newbie -1Beer Stops 1Metros – 1Number of hashers attempting to get on a metro  via the same door – 25Biscuits – Pack of (thanks Woofers)Naked man – 1 ( no photo’s)Widdlers – Non spottedLesser Spotted – Was spottedPremature evacuations – 2Yellow Ribbons Tied Round Ole Oak Trees – 1 (reminiscently)
Thanks to the hares for a hash with a bit of a difference as we wait for the sun to come round.
Next Wednesday hash
La Taverna, RytonOn On GH