

- This event has passed.
NH3 @ The Keelman, Newburn
March 1 @ 11:30 am – 1:30 pm
Hares : Chafing Bollocks and Bedtime Story
The Running Club with a Drinking Problem
Hares : Chafing Bollocks and Bedtime Story
07:15 Bedtime Story gets up for an ice cold shower
07:42 Story takes the dog out for a walk
08:30 Chafing Bollocks’ alarm goes off
08:48 Story and Spare Rib finish family breakfast and bathtime
09:00 Chafing hits snooze for the third time
09:04 Story begins Sunday lunch prep
09:30 Chafing hits snooze for the sixth time
09:52 Story catches train from Stocksfield to Prudhoe
09:57 Story begins his r*n to the Keelman, setting wa*kers trail along the way
10:05 Chafing finally drags himself out of bed
10:14 Story finds wa*king route under two feet of floodwater
10:18 Omelette and coffee for Chafing
10:20 Chafing takes a very large dump
10:32 Chafing leaves house, attempts to buy flour at Asda
10:38 Chafing goes for the 10:40 bus
10:41 Chafing misses the 10:40 bus
11:00 Bedtime Story arrives at the Keelman. No sign of co-hare
11:05 Chafing realises he’s missed the 11:00 bus
11:07 Chafing calls a taxi
11:08 11:00 bus zooms past Chafing as he calls it a bastard
11:20 Taxi picks Chafing up, agrees to drive very fast
11:27 Chafing Bollocks arrives at Keelman to find most of the Hash already there
11:28 Bedtime Story sets off to live-hare the first half
11:33 Treasure Chest and Five Kuai arrive
11:35 Floppy After Effort arrives
11:45 Chafing finally gets his shit together to start the trail. Wa*kers set off under direction of Omm
11:47 Hashers get lost at a r*nning check due to Chafing not remembering the route
11:52 Counterfit gets stuck in brambles
11:55 Wa*kers overtake the r*nners
12:01 R*nners back in front. Slippery When Wet attempts to efface W marks
12:05 R*nners continue to check all ways despite ten straight-on checks in a row
12:08 The route finally leaves the riverbank. Hashers immediately recognise the NO ACCESS sign indicates true trail
12:10 Uphill stretch begins. Bedtime Story reaches the Swan, orders pint of Doom Bar
12:20 R*nners still r*nning uphill
12:25 Chafing allows a 30-second breather at a stop check
12:30 Brian bags his first FRB
12:34 First of the Hash Views
12:36 More uphill
12:40 Hash reach The Swan. Pints are ordered all round
12:41 Chafing finishes pint
12:42 Chafing sets off to live-hare the second half
12:52 More pints are ordered
12:58 Chafing reaches Keelman, orders a pint
13:05 Story calls five minutes
13:12 Bedtime Story finally drags the r*nners out of the beer stop
13:16 Second of the Hash Views
13:18 Downhill begins
13:23 Downhill stretch concludes with pretty much every Hasher on an FRB
13:30 Wa*kers return from their double trail
13:32 Kuai checks uphill, hits the only falsie in the entire trail
13:38 OnInn is sighted. Screams of delight are heard
13:40 R*nners arrive back at Keelman
13:45 Treasure Chest starts the circle. Hares are down-downed for live-haring. Chafing is down-downed for being late
13:47 Chafing calls Brian a ‘very naughty boy’. Treasure Chest christens him
13:48 Returners are down-downed, visitor Pippy Longstockings welcomed, virgin deflowered
13:50 Five Kuai can’t think of any charges so circle is ended
14:00 Entire Hash orders Sunday lunch
15:00 Sunday lunch is finally served…
07:15 Bedtime Story gets up for an ice cold shower
07:42 Story takes the dog out for a walk
08:30 Chafing Bollocks’ alarm goes off
08:48 Story and Spare Rib finish family breakfast and bathtime
09:00 Chafing hits snooze for the third time
09:04 Story begins Sunday lunch prep
09:30 Chafing hits snooze for the sixth time
09:52 Story catches train from Stocksfield to Prudhoe
09:57 Story begins his r*n to the Keelman, setting wa*kers trail along the way
10:05 Chafing finally drags himself out of bed
10:14 Story finds wa*king route under two feet of floodwater
10:18 Omelette and coffee for Chafing
10:20 Chafing takes a very large dump
10:32 Chafing leaves house, attempts to buy flour at Asda
10:38 Chafing goes for the 10:40 bus
10:41 Chafing misses the 10:40 bus
11:00 Bedtime Story arrives at the Keelman. No sign of co-hare
11:05 Chafing realises he’s missed the 11:00 bus
11:07 Chafing calls a taxi
11:08 11:00 bus zooms past Chafing as he calls it a bastard
11:20 Taxi picks Chafing up, agrees to drive very fast
11:27 Chafing Bollocks arrives at Keelman to find most of the Hash already there
11:28 Bedtime Story sets off to live-hare the first half
11:33 Treasure Chest and Five Kuai arrive
11:35 Floppy After Effort arrives
11:45 Chafing finally gets his shit together to start the trail. Wa*kers set off under direction of Omm
11:47 Hashers get lost at a r*nning check due to Chafing not remembering the route
11:52 Counterfit gets stuck in brambles
11:55 Wa*kers overtake the r*nners
12:01 R*nners back in front. Slippery When Wet attempts to efface W marks
12:05 R*nners continue to check all ways despite ten straight-on checks in a row
12:08 The route finally leaves the riverbank. Hashers immediately recognise the NO ACCESS sign indicates true trail
12:10 Uphill stretch begins. Bedtime Story reaches the Swan, orders pint of Doom Bar
12:20 R*nners still r*nning uphill
12:25 Chafing allows a 30-second breather at a stop check
12:30 Brian bags his first FRB
12:34 First of the Hash Views
12:36 More uphill
12:40 Hash reach The Swan. Pints are ordered all round
12:41 Chafing finishes pint
12:42 Chafing sets off to live-hare the second half
12:52 More pints are ordered
12:58 Chafing reaches Keelman, orders a pint
13:05 Story calls five minutes
13:12 Bedtime Story finally drags the r*nners out of the beer stop
13:16 Second of the Hash Views
13:18 Downhill begins
13:23 Downhill stretch concludes with pretty much every Hasher on an FRB
13:30 Wa*kers return from their double trail
13:32 Kuai checks uphill, hits the only falsie in the entire trail
13:38 OnInn is sighted. Screams of delight are heard
13:40 R*nners arrive back at Keelman
13:45 Treasure Chest starts the circle. Hares are down-downed for live-haring. Chafing is down-downed for being late
13:47 Chafing calls Brian a ‘very naughty boy’. Treasure Chest christens him
13:48 Returners are down-downed, visitor Pippy Longstockings welcomed, virgin deflowered
13:50 Five Kuai can’t think of any charges so circle is ended
14:00 Entire Hash orders Sunday lunch
15:00 Sunday lunch is finally served…