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Run No Venue Hare(s)
1584The WheatsheafCounterfit
Day Date Address
Sunday2019-11-03Callerton Lane End, Woolsington,

Good evening viewers and breaking news...... we are getting reports that a group of local runners have encountered some serious weather related issues whilst on a run in the countryside not far from the City. Apparently a small group of 5 set off on Sunday morning from the Wheatsheaf public house, not far from Newcastle Airport and allegedly entered some sort of worm hole that transplanted them to south east asian paddy fields. Conditions were damp underfoot......and overfoot for that matter. Witnesses have said they saw four men and a woman trudging through ankle deep mud before trying to cross a flooded water course which saw three of them fully emmersed before a temporary structure was rigged to facilitate a dry crossing.

A dog walker and some joggers also saw this group, 4 were damp and one was Soggy, heading west trying to find some firm ground. A local farmer told us " I couldn't believe it. No one in their right mind would have tried to cross my fields in those conditions. One of them appeared to be Inncontinent, another was covered in tadpoles, a third looked as though he would be soon Piste Off and the woman was a cracker.....but a bit wet".

As they approached the airport, one of the group was hallucinating, climbing a steep cliff for no good reason as he thought he was almost back at base, but he had seen a Mirage, or a similar french military aircraft.

Eventually the group did make it back to their starting point to slake their growing thirsts although their supposed guide for the expedition had a short, sharp attack of dysentary before he could join in.

We are pleased to report that the group suffered no lasting damage and enjoyed a hearty meal soon afterwards.

One of their number had been presented with a survival award for his fifth expedition and immediately changed his name.

We will keep you appraised of further developments should they occur.

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